Secret Burgers

Because everyone loves a secret.

is it worth blogging

if Im boring?

maybe.

fact (weak fact)

antidepressants cure my mild "run of the mill" neurosis. It weakens my ability to blog. Which reminds me.... I need to get PooAssBerg's anti-seizure medication refilled. Correction: anti-wiggle medication.

See what I mean?

dear office bacon

you are making me delirious. please stop.

hearts & farts-
p.

Ranger Surplus

p: do you have navy sailor hats in stock?

rs: do you mean the little white circular hats that sailors wear?

p: ...... yes ........

obama h8

dude. Get your fat airforce 1 ass off the runway you dumb fuck. Let the little people fucking fly.

nerdlinger

man on subway.
he wears pleated tapered khaki's,
reads his kindle
and practice his riffs on the safety pole.

FACT.

p.boy eats retard burgers for breakfast.

dogs & goddesses

it's a book and it explains so much about a certain hibernophile coworker.

pookie via email

p: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexican_Riviera

gayC: that's not pretty.

p: enseneda is super close to tijuana. it's gross. i bet she's going there ... or maybe acapulco. it would still be spring break time. she could definitely bone some college frat boys. they'd totally do her in the butt. maybe she'll be on girls gone wild.

gayC: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… i didn’t even think about the spring break aspect. YUCKY. she’ll get up her butt alright… along with one in each ear.

pookie via text

gayC: pookie sent out her invitation for her mexican riviera birthday which is MY birthday week.

p: 2010=30 bday week or actual bday week? she doesn't have a job... how the hell is she gonna pay for a vacation to the mexican riviera? what the hell does mexican riviera even mean?

gayC: i think she is making up words to make it sound more attractive... and making everyone pay for her trip. it's actual bday week.

p: can you imagine spending a week in a 3rd world country with that crazy? i bet she is actually going to tijuana.

gayC: it's a medicated trip... she'll sleep the entire time while an ugly houseboy does it up her butt.

p: i love you because you are mean.

secretly viewed convo

between sandy and cable person chatting online. it looks alot like chat sex to me....

dean: you are near the box, right?
sandy: no, but i can be
dean: i see
dean: thank you for that

woman and children

open your windows and doors

FREE cold air for everyone!!

devastating news

pringles are NOT a potato chip.

root beer floats & pickles

not just for preggos anymore

sage advice

don't pet a toucan. it'll bite your finger off.

omgomgomgomg

i get to buy my first mustache comb this weekend!!!!!

new fave insult

Turd mule

As in Lucy and Mr. Glitters are nothing but turd mules.

medication

is heavenly. my desire for amazing outifits and re-donk shoes has returned.

wants & needs

if i opened a vietnamese deli in brooklyn, i'd call it: pho get about it.

p's sweet crib

i live in a house of meat treats.

Dear world,

My outfit was super cute today... so Fuck you. And yes, I'm watching Honey.

how DARE YOU! Jessica Alba is an AMAZING actress.

Ummmm...

no.

career aspirations

To wandered the streets of Barcelona in a cocktail gown and a skipper's hat, looking wistful and eating gummi bears.

favorite part of the day

In regards to gay marriage becoming legalized in D.C. caller on NPR doesn't understand all the hullabaloo around gay marriage.

He says:
since gays can't procreate, they will all be wiped out after a generation.

P.boy's response to caller on NPR:

Woah - that dude is soooooo right! I've never though about it this way.

I can't wait till it all 'blows' over.

sandy says

Look at mr. Glitters. he looks so regal. he should be wearing a lobster bib.

my pet gay

brought MPG to my friend's bday party.

MPG ended up making out w/ the bday girl's deaf boyfriend.

MPG can't stop brushing his teeth.

situational ecstacy

Seen: Miami

At a stoplight: T-boned Geek Squad (the biggest GS truck ever seen) flipped over on the side with shit busting out all over.

situation: sparkley amazement

situation lacking

Seen: Miami

At a stoplight with green right turn arrow on and crosswalk signal on 'stop'

Old lady on bicycle enters crosswalk at .03 mph

Car engages in turn at aprox .05 mph

slowly. slowly.

Car and bicycle collide. Car driver egresses vehicle (slowly) and pulls old lady off the ground by elbow. Other traffic drives around. An hour later, old lady is seen bicycling further down the road.

Situation: lacking

situational completness

Seen: Miami

Late 90's corvette (blue) top down

driver: beponytailed, backwards hatted, late 90's goateed, level 6 pretzle-brown tan, steroid-pullback-like muscle loss, 50-55 yr old male, animatedly conversing with passenger

passenger: late 90's pageant compeditor (brunette)

situation: complete

p. boy sayz

i'm not surprised the lesbians keep hitting on you... you look pretty lesbianish.

I MEAN HOT! YOU LOOK HOT!

Notable Quoteables #2

Them bitches need to put the dick down, and pick up some taste.