premise: old woman talking to a mother about her kindergartener.
mother turns to son and tells him not to do something that day after looking at a chart in a composition book.
old woman: what's that?
mother: it's like a report card they send home everyday. he got bad marks for kissing a little girl.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
metro conversation #1
premise: 2 octogenarians sitting on the bus discussing their housemate moving in with her boyfriend.
octogenarian #1 (in russian accent): she's 85 years old! i don't know why she needs a boyfriend... i don't need a man.
octogenarian #2: well some people just like companionship.
octo #1: i was married for 49 years and do not want any other companionship. stan was the man for me. i could could get fat and he wouldn't care. i could do no wrong in his eyes.
octo #2: ooh! and i bet you were feisty!
octo #1: how come you never got married?
octo #2: i was born during the women's rights movement. my mom was a housewife and i never had a model for a woman working and having a family. my dad did not want me to be a housewife like my mom.
end scene.
octogenarian #1 (in russian accent): she's 85 years old! i don't know why she needs a boyfriend... i don't need a man.
octogenarian #2: well some people just like companionship.
octo #1: i was married for 49 years and do not want any other companionship. stan was the man for me. i could could get fat and he wouldn't care. i could do no wrong in his eyes.
octo #2: ooh! and i bet you were feisty!
octo #1: how come you never got married?
octo #2: i was born during the women's rights movement. my mom was a housewife and i never had a model for a woman working and having a family. my dad did not want me to be a housewife like my mom.
end scene.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
dear vice deputy director of depression,
I decided to seek medication to cope with my generalized what seems to only be describable as a "hate of a life of work and circumstance". Part of this condition includes malaise and a pointed negativity towards all things good or evil. this includes things I would normally consider funny or ironic.
Anyway, as you may know, I submitted my paperwork for processing to your team of well-educated professionals on life. I registered for your services, as it were.
The thing is, you seem to be a raging assholaholic. Perhaps this is because last week I attempted to avoid your services by seeking professional help, to no avail, as no psychiatrists in Miami appear to be accepting new patients.
Bottom line: I dont think it's funny (partly due to symptoms described above) that my therapist (who describes me as a non-emergency (see previous blog)) recommends her very own psychiatrist to me, much as I would not want to use her gyno.
Your services are shit. I hate you.
Anyway, as you may know, I submitted my paperwork for processing to your team of well-educated professionals on life. I registered for your services, as it were.
The thing is, you seem to be a raging assholaholic. Perhaps this is because last week I attempted to avoid your services by seeking professional help, to no avail, as no psychiatrists in Miami appear to be accepting new patients.
Bottom line: I dont think it's funny (partly due to symptoms described above) that my therapist (who describes me as a non-emergency (see previous blog)) recommends her very own psychiatrist to me, much as I would not want to use her gyno.
Your services are shit. I hate you.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
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