cockney translation

mr. glitters would be

sister clitoris

which in turn would be shortened to clitty

fatty tag... you're it!

you can always tell an ex-fat by their pepperoni nips.

white wine & lettuce

no more 5 guys.

the small cheeseburger has 550 calories & 32 grams of fat.

sick.

my uterus is squirting

iheartguts.com
The uterus is nice. im wearing it to Harriett's for breakfast this morning.

the greatest question of all time

pasta
OR
sex

sandy says

"I like wood, birds, cars, my baby, pets, and snuzzling. can you put that on a shirt?"

sandy sings

"all my single ladies! all my single ladies!"

then sandy says

"remember when I was OBSESSED with that song?"

dear blog,

Why cant you be a ladycop.

Waiting for me to come home from work.

Wearing your sexy panties.

that is why i hate you

dear blog,

i hate you. you are inconvenient and dont seem interested in accomanying my in the fun things i do.

pelican brief

clamalot

mullet over

murphy's best dragon's nest

sea ya later

the doctor's inn

wall

meet face.

face meet wall.

No Whammies

James wins $15 but loses $7,000 in the short term.

it's obvious your boyfriend makes meth.

he sleeps with a gun under his pillow & has mrsa.

i cant do it

I can not go into work on saturday again.